Since the beginning of this year, I have felt that way. It seems as if there are so many trees, that I can't see the forest for it. We have had a number of trying situations of late: family health issues, broken hearts, death and job challenges among others all piled one on top of another. It got so bad that one day I started to forget which situation I was crying about. And I shed a lot of tears. I felt like there were so very many hardships filling up our life at every turn that I was being defeated. It got to the point where I couldn't even pray clearly. I was having trouble forming words to pray to our Father. I would simply say, "Father, you know what is going on. Help. Amen." And those were the good prayers. Tree after tree after tree. I became convinced every phone call would bring more bad news. It was a sad, defeatist mentality, but it was ever present. I was like one of those moles people whack at an arcade. When would the beating stop. At one point my husband even said, "Is this worth it?"
I caught my breath when he said that. The Lord did a little Holy Spirit reminding for me in the moment. I said to my husband, "When Christ hung on the cross, he looked at the faces below him and asked, 'Is this worth it?' And decided we were. What we are going through is nothing like that."
Thankfully during this time period (which is still going on), our family in Christ has picked up the slack. In the moments where we couldn't pray, they did. In the moments of true despair, we were being uplifted by hundreds of people to our Father. People reached out to us in ways that were so perfectly and divinely timed that we felt God's embrace. Because of that, we were able to face each moment, each day. Matter of fact, in the deepest, darkest times, there was peace, strength, encouragement and sweet moments of grace that blew us away.
How do people without a church family do it? How to they face death without their brothers and sisters reminding them of heaven? How do they face major health issues without their church family offering words of comfort and prayers of healing? How do people without Jesus face challenges in the workplace or struggles with people around them without the saints reminding us to love the sinner and hate the sin? How grateful I am that we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses in the faith to hold us up when we are broken. Oh, that I may be the one holding up another in similar circumstances.
We will have more trying times like these, maybe even worse. And I can't say while in the middle of it that I'm better for it. Not yet. But I know my Father has me. I know we are being lifted in fervent prayer by people who have loved us, cried with us, comforted us and spoke or wrote words of encouragement to us. And that one day - maybe not on this side of heaven - we will see the forest in all its glory and understand what this season was all about.
All the trees of the field shall know that I am the LORD. I bring low the high tree, and I make high the low tree: I dry up the green tree and make the dry tree flourish. I the LORD have spoken; I will accomplish it." Ezek. 17:24
