Stuck in the Fence

 I saved a goat today. Our neighbor has several goats that daily graze behind our back yard and to the east of us. Today while reading my Bible, I could hear some bleating (which is the sound a goat makes when it's crying; very different from the "baa" they greet me with when they want me to give them a leafy branch or bread). I looked outside, and at first thought they all looked okay, but I quickly realized one was struggling. This goat had gotten his head stuck in a wire square between two fences. The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence," is true of these goats; they are always checking out what is in our yard. Reaching for a tall weed on our side, his horns had trapped him in that wire square. And he could not wiggle free. So I threw on some shoes and ran out there in my jammies to see if I could help. As soon as I got to him, he twisted more fiercely in fear, but nothing was working. I wondered how I would be able to guide his head back out, then I decided to just grab his horns and tilt his head inward toward his side of the fence so he could pull his head back. So I did just that and he was free in seconds. I clapped and shouted "Yay!" as he leapt away from the fence, then said, "I hope I didn't hurt you." He turned quickly and looked at me in surprise (as much surprise as a goat can express) almost as if to say, "I can't believe that worked. I hated that, but this is better."

My husband was walking at the time, and when he got back I told him the story. He instantly said, "That's a blog. Actually that could be a whole sermon." I blog, he preaches. It took me a second, but understood what he was thinking. Basically because we are that goat right now.

The goat was in a challenging situation. And he was stuck but good. And the only way to get loose was for me to put the goat in an even more challenging, more uncomfortable, possibly painful situation in order to free him. And that is exactly where God has us right now. We are in a challenging situation. And it is hard. And to get out of this situation, we are being uncomfortably forced in a direction we did not expect. It is painful. It is not easy. It is not where we thought it would go. It honestly feels like God's got a hold of us and twisting us in an awkward way to force us in a different direction. And we can only hope that once free of it, we'll turn to look at our Father with the same surprised look of "Wow, I can't believe that worked. I hated that, but this is better ...and thank you." His Word confirms it:

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." 2 Cor. 4:17

I heard a couple of parents in an interview recently respond to the question, "What would you wish for your children?" to which one responded, "That they would have challenges to make them better people." At first listen, I was thinking, "Yikes, challenges?" but quickly realized she was right. It's not our successes that make us better; it's our challenges. They are never fun when you're in the midst of them. Often times they are painful and hard to see a clear path through. But God has used His word and the encouragement of friends to guide us through it. Praise God for those who uplift us when we are incapable ourselves.

So I may have saved a goat today, but God in His divine wisdom through my husband's sweet metaphorical look at the situation gave us a lesson to encourage us both. So while the we're still in the horns-held, forced-twist right now, we know things are going to be better on the other side. Praising Him that He has us firmly in His grip.

The Big Picture

 I am working on my first cross stitch. I thought it would be a nice, calming thing to do while listening to music or watching TV. I was wrong. It's super stressful. The stitches are simple, but with my 50+-year-old eyes, the tiny stitches, the counting and making sure I'm stitching in the right place have not been calming in the slightest. The directions said to start in the middle and work your way out. So after determining the middle, I began to stitch. The first thread color is called pale gray, but it is actually white. So to make an already stressful craft project more stressful, I'm making half-cross stitches with white thread on white canvas. I have gotten frustrated a few times, pulled out stitches, recounted and pulled out my ocular to get a closer look. When you are right on top of this design, it is hard to believe these tiny "pale gray" stitches will make any difference in this project. But I will do this. I will get this done.

The story behind this cross stitch kit is important. My husband and I have been dealing with quite a bit since the beginning of the year. Recently we believed things were making an upward turn, only to have something else come along to beat the joy out of it. We felt our hearts sink and the darkness creeping back in. It was right at this time that we were leaving for our annual vacation to St. George Island. Each year, we are invited by dear friends to join them at a beach house on the Florida panhandle barrier island for a week in the spring. It is one of our favorite places of respite. You don't go there for the shopping, mini golf or night life. You go there for the beach and wildlife. It is a breathtaking place where we are rejuvenated and refilled spiritually. It has a beautiful white lighthouse, gorgeous beach, lots of seashells, gulls, pelicans, dolphins, sea turtles, herons, beautiful dunes, sweet breezes and a vast blue gulf. We love it there. But we were heading into it beaten and struck down emotionally. While sharing some of our story of the last few months with our hosts and guests, my friend Joanna said, "You need to read Isaiah 43." I have read the Bible through many times, and I am always so surprised when God takes what I have read before and brings new life and meaning to the Word. So I read it and was blown away, acknowledging its timeliness.

    "When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you." Isaiah 43:2

    "Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

Later that day, we were introducing our friends to The Chosen, a fabulous series on the disciples and Jesus' relationship with them, His ministry and the part each disciple's story plays. We showed the first episode to them that night. At the beginning of the episode, a character begins to recite Scripture. Joanna looks at me and says, "Isaiah 43." I have watched these episodes five times now, but never recognized the Scripture prior to Joanna pointing it out to me. It grabbed my heart. "Thus says the Lord who created you ... I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1 I knew it was no coincidence and went back to reread Isaiah 43 again.

The Lord likes to work in threes for me, so while shopping after we returned from our vacation, I stumbled across this cross stitch kit called Peaceful Shores. It features a white lighthouse, the sea, beach, seashells, a gull and dunes, just like St. George Island. And quoted in the "pale gray" clouds ... Isaiah 43:2. "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you." It was a perfect combination of our vacation and the spiritual rejuvenation we felt. I felt compelled to try to make it to give glory to God and as a reminder that He has us.

But I had no idea it would be so trying. Peaceful Shores? Something I'd hoped would bring me peace has only added to the stress. I stare at those tiny stitches and for the life of me cannot see the big picture.

It was then I realized how the cross stitch, and not just the verse, was so poignant to our lives right now. Those stitches are part of a beautiful, finished, complicated product. And while I cannot see it now, once combined with all the other stitches and colors, it will be a lovely, handmade, captured moment where God made Himself so clear to us. "Do not remember the former things, or consider the things of old. I am about to do a new thing! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"

We have had a hard time perceiving it. But behold, He is doing a new thing. And I am excited to be a part of that new thing. I am going to finish this cross stitch. I may end up with a few new gray hairs (as pale as those threads) after this, but like this trying season of our lives, the new thing will be worth it. 

In Isaiah 43:21 the Lord reminds the Israelites that He is providing for His chosen people, "the people whom I formed for myself so that they might declare my praise." God hasn't chosen us for our success and joy. He's chosen us so that we may declare His praise! Whether the world has dealt us a bad deck at this time or not, we are to praise His name, declare the great things He has done and keep worshiping on. And we are. This season, while I can't see the value of it completely now, is part of the big picture. God has a perfect plan. How blessed we are to be a part of it.

Ironically, I don't think my cross stitch will emulate the "perfect" plan. I'm already off by at least one stitch and hoping that doesn't make a huge difference in the end result. But I've been off by a few stitches quite a few times in my life, and God's made beauty from it. I can only hope for the same with Peaceful Shores.

Done Excellently

My maternal grandmother is on the far right.

"Why do moms have to be so judgy and shaming of one another?" my daughter asked me recently. "They need to just leave each other alone and let them raise their kids their way."

She's not wrong. Ayla has had a few friends recently who have had babies. As new moms, they are learning the ropes of feeding, sleep schedules, diaper changing, clothing, what certain cries mean and how to best protect their newborns. They are searching the internet, reading books, watching videos and asking their mom or friends who are moms what they do for all the above. Some nurse their children till they're 2 years old. Some only a few weeks. Some start their babies on solid foods at 6 months. Some at 4 months. Some have babies sleeping through the night. Others are feeding their children a few times a night. Some use disposable diapers and others cloth. Some let anyone hold their new baby, while others ask if you've washed your hands or - these days - if you've been vaccinated. I've yet to see the book or person that gets it perfect. Every mother is different, as is every child. I know with my first baby I was a bit more careful and particular than with the second baby. I was more comfortable in my mommy skin and knew a bit better what to expect.

My daughter & newborn son.

But Ayla is right in that people can be opinionated about how other people raise their children. I know for me, it was about discipline. If I heard a parent comment that they felt guilty about disciplining their child, my eyes would roll. "These children are not your friends. They are your children. They need to know their boundaries. For crying out loud, tell them "no." And while I still am big on discipline, I have realized over the years there are different ways of doing so. Some are quicker and more effective than others, but there are lots of adults walking around with defined boundaries whose parents had completely different approaches. Nonetheless, in those early years I had my opinions about what I thought was the best way.

 Motherhood is a tough job. It requires sacrifice, patience, persistence, grace, energy, creativity, routine, lots of love and rest any chance it can get. It is an unpaid position required to provide the emotional, spiritual and physical needs for offspring until they move out (and for some that can be later than preferred and for others, too soon). It's paid for in hugs-n-kisses and results. And personally, I think it's the greatest job there is. It was exhausting, and there were days I wished someone would come get them to give me a day off, but it was so rewarding and exhilarating at the same time. And I would not trade it for anything in the world.

They grew up too fast.

Moms are doing the best they can with what they know and learn. Can we gently offer ideas for moms to make their job a bit easier, sure. But to criticize how another mom does it is certainly not helping. We moms need to support and encourage one another. We need to observe how other moms do it to learn what works, what doesn't and how many different ways it can be done. You may shake your head at what other moms do, but don't knock it. It just may be the best way.

Best Mom Ever.

Courage, moms. I see you. I know you are tired. I know you are frustrated at times. I know you would love a break now and again. Hang in there. Those babies will grow up very soon. Very, very soon. And you will wish these days were back. Enjoy every second from the challenges to the milestones and the tears to the cuddles. This Sunday may you be embraced and heralded, showered with gifts, cards, flowers, feasts and family. May your children rise up and call you blessed (Prov. 31:28). 

And to my Mom - who did it perfectly - I love you so very much. What an example you are to me. What a beautiful friend you have been to me. How generous you have been with your prayers and love. How grateful I am that you asked God how to raise me, because you obviously listened. Have the Best, Happiest, Most Wonderful Mother's Day! Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. (Prov. 31:29)