Just As I Am

A gal from a welcoming committee in town came to see me today. She called at 15 minutes after the hour and told me she'd be to my apartment in 45 minutes to give me some community information and gift certificates. As soon as I hung up with her, I gasped as I took a quick look around the room and at myself. I was still in my pajamas and the living room was less than stellar. I could still smell onions in the air from dinner the night before. I hadn't vacuumed in several days. I needed to dust. The room needed tidying, counters needed wiped off, etc. So I quick, like a whirlwind, whipped through the apartment putting things in neat piles, dusting, picking specks off the floor, sweeping the kitchen and porch and spraying a room freshener all over. Then I quick got dressed and applied some make up. Ahhhh. Perfect. I even stood at the front door and looked around the room as if I was a guest, checking for anything that might be out of place. I found a couple more things, then found a couple more. Finally I was pleased with the finished product. My guest came. She sat on my couch, gave me much information to peruse, gave me a welcome hug and was on her way. I don't know that she noticed the fresh smell, tidy piles, clean counters or fluffed pillows. But I sure didn't want her to see the way we REALLY lived.

Similarly I went on a website today to play with some photos. On this website, you can change your photos to have soft focus, special effects, tinting, sharpening, brightening and even cover blemishes and whiten teeth. Using a photo of myself shot on my birthday, I brightened my teeth, took away blemishes, cropped it tighter and wa-la ... the finished product of retouched photography. In one photo I even gave myself lilac eyes just for fun! I sure didn't want anyone to see the picture of the REAL me another year older.

Picture perfect living room. Picture perfect photo. Both are a lie. Both are a lie because perfection, as we know, is just not possible. I used to joke with people not to get too used to my face as they see it because in Heaven there's no make up, and they won't recognize me when I get there.

Thankfully, you won't care. Jesus handles all that perfection and does it, well, ... perfectly. And he knows all my flaws and filth and loves me just the same. As the Charlotte Elliott hymn says, "Just as I am thou wilt receive, welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve." Jesus said he went to prepare a place for me, so I'm guessing He's cleaning and tidying, me in particular, to get ready for my arrival. And He says in John 6:37 anyone who comes to Him he will never drive away. Praise the Good Lord for that!

Does that mean I won't clean and put on makeup the next time you come to visit? Ha! Oh, no, I will perpetuate the earthly fantasy ... just please remember to give me enough time to get ready!

Public Affection

Yesterday I reached out to give my son a hug while we were shopping and stopped myself. Not because of the usual reason, which is when he quietly whispers, "Public," as a reminder to me that he doesn't want any motherly affection where someone might see (ah, teenage boys). I stopped instead because just as I was about to reach out and hug him I remembered that he had fallen that afternoon on a gravel road and had scraped up his back, left arm and hands to bloodied abrasions. I knew if I hugged him I would graze those tender areas and cause him pain, so I refrained. He noticed that I started to reach for him and pulled back. He said, "What, Mom?" I told him I'd almost hugged him, forgetting the wounds his T-shirt covered. He then reached out for me, putting both of his hands on my shoulders, and hugging me. "I love you, Mom," he said. "You've done a lot for us over the last few months since we moved. Thank you." I almost started to cry. Here was my son, who typically shuns public affection, hugging me in a department store where we were surrounded by people. I was moved beyond words and glowed the rest of the day just thinking about that brief moment.

As all things do when I'm dealing with my children, I reflected to my relationship with my Father in Heaven. I thought about the countless times He reaches out to me to hug me, sharing His beautiful world with me, His precious Son and His great mercy. And thinking to myself, how many times I have put my hands up and said to Him, "Public." Today was one of those days. I was walking through a subdivision, and while doing so was praying for a youth friend of mine who is sharing the word of God with a student in his high school who is a proclaimed atheist. I was lifting him in prayer, when I suddenly realized I was praying out loud. It was then I saw a man staring at me who was fertilizing in his yard. I instantly shut up until I rounded the corner. Not because I didn't want him to see my praying, but rather because I was worried he'd think I was a nutcase talking to myself. Basically, I was telling God, "Oops, hold on a second. Public." After I rounded the corner, I wished I'd have said, "Not crazy ... just talking to Jesus." What a discipleship opportunity I missed!

Needless to say, I'm going to spend a significant period of time today telling my Father how very much I love Him and praise Him for everything He's done for me not just in the last few months, but my whole life. I am blessed beyond words. And I'm going to start right now, here, in public ... Lord God, I LOVE YOU! You are so amazing. You are beautiful. You are awesome. Thank you, Lord. And Lord, even with all my wounds ... feel free to hug me, any time.

No flaw In You

Ouch... that's the feeling I've been getting every time the realtor selling our home in Wisconsin calls me with a criticism she's received about our home during an Open House. "This isn't updated." "This is ugly." "This looks old." Ouch, ouch, ouch. I read once that a home is an extention of a woman, almost like a child to her. Criticize a woman's child, and it's like taking a knife to the heart. So all these strangers coming into my house are cutting me to pieces. I loved that home. We did many things to it to make it beautiful and ours. And we have such precious memories of living there. So it's hard to hear someone else cut it down.

I was wondering if that's what God feels when we do the same to His creation ... namely to ourselves in the mirror or to others around us. "I'm too fat." "I'm too wrinkly." "I wish this or that was updated." I wonder if God is saying, "Ouch! That's my creation you're criticizing! I think it's beautiful! And I have such great memories of you looking just like that!"

One of my daughter's dearest friends, Cheyenne, is one of the most self-confident people I know. She looks in the mirror and says, "I'm so pretty." You might be thinking to yourself, "How arrogant," but she's not. Chey is a pretty girl, there's no doubt, even when she has her hair dyed pink, blue, green, red, purple or orange, as she frequently does. But to be in her teenage years and be able to look at herself in the mirror and be content, even pleased, with her appearance is a rare thing. I'll bet when God hears her, He says: "Thank you! I think so too!" Chey's got Song of Solomon 4:7 memorized and rightfully so. My daughter has it taped to her mirror. It's something we all can remember: "You are altogether beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you." Even King David wrote in Psalm 139:14,"I praise you, for I am fearfuly and wonderfully made." That's another one for the mirror.

So rather than do any critiquing today ... I'm just going to take a look at God's creation around me, even that person in the mirror, and say, "Wow, that's really something right there! Gorgeous!" and praise my Father for it.

Now I just hope someone does the same for my house.

One Weapon

Mark my words, if you are doing great things to further God's Kingdom, Satan is going to attack. I don't say this to scare you, but to prepare you. Things may be going along just beautifully, people are coming to know Christ, you are blossoming and lives are being healed. That's right about the time Satan steps in. There is no way the Adversary wants you to succeed in growing God's Kingdom, and he will stop at nothing to see you lose faith, lose friends, fail and give up. He squeals with glee when you ask yourself, "Is this really worth it?" and I guarantee at some point you may very well ask that.

I know two people going through a time like this right now. I have gone through this a time or two myself. And what have I learned? If you are growing God's Kingdom, you are probably dressed in the full armor of God, as described in Ephesian 6:13-17. You understand the nature of salvation; you have faith; you're ready to proclaim the Good News to whoever asks; you know the Truth; you act for and in righteousness. All of that armor, as listed by Paul is defensive, preventative armor. He only lists one weapon ... the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Satan and his minions have no power against the True Word. Strike with this Sword and you are protected spiritually in ways you may have trouble comprehending. Peter tells us in his first book 5:8 that "like a roaring lion, your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour." Peter encourages us to resist him. And Paul says to arm ourselves and fight, for our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against "spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Eph. 6:12) This means when everything looks bleak, when friends seem to be turning away, when fellow church goers say something hurtful or when one trial after another comes, your battle goes beyond the earthly realm.

If the Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God, then it we need to be in the Word ALL THE TIME. Morning and night, we need to bury our little faces deep into Scripture, reading, reciting, memorizing, chanting and singing the very Words of God. We need to learn to practically apply that Word to circumstances we're facing. You remember Jesus getting tempted in the wilderness? (Luke 4:1-12) Jesus used this Sword three times to attack the devil as he struck at areas he thought would be Christ's weaknesses.

Do you know a person that seems to have just the right Bible verse at just the right time? These are folks who have spent hours reading and putting to memory God's Word while the Holy Spirit brings those verses to mind when needed. Jesus tells us in John 14:26 the Holy Spirit will "remind you of all that I have said to you." But even if you don't know just the right verse, whatever you do know, say it. If you are dealing with something that seems beyond you, just start reciting every verse you know off the top of your head. It may be only one or two. But do it, saying them over and over again. The first time I did this, I realized I needed to memorize a few more verses because I wanted to say more than Gen. 1:1 and John 3:16!

I promise you, the Word of God will make you feel better. I promise you if you wield the Sword of the Spirit, you will feel the weight of the world lift. I've felt it countless times.

Carry a piece of paper with you that has a verse on it you'd like to memorize. Say it several times a day until it becomes a part of you. When Jesus tells us He will abide with us, He means it. The Word made flesh abides in our hearts. Keep that Sword at the ready. Hang in there. And may God bless you in battle, for we know the victory belongs to Jesus.

Setting the Believers An Example

When our family moved from Wisconsin to Alabama in January, our college-age daughter, Ayla, made this comment: "Mom, I will never be coming home again. I will always be a guest." It was a profound statement. After all, we were leaving the home she had spent the last six years of her life and she was spending most of her time away at school. Our new home could be a place she may never live.

Ayla came to see our new location over her Spring Break last week. Her visit was a welcome one and we delighted in enjoying her company and she ours. But one thing surprised me about her visit that I had to share with my husband yesterday after I returned from driving her back to school. Ayla had changed. She had matured. It was one of the most beautiful things I had seen in her. And this happened just since Christmas. Whenever I was in the kitchen cooking, Ayla jumped up to help. When I was doing laundry, she ran in to help me fold. When I was vacuuming, she dusted. When I did dishes, she was right beside me offering to help. The Ayla at Christmas would need to be asked to help with these things. And the icing on the cake ... when I stayed in her dorm room the night before I left, she offered me her bed, making a place on the floor for herself with a sleeping bag and bed roll (which I climbed into before she could). All selfless, precious glimpses into the fine young lady she has become. She truly fulfilled a Bible verse I have impressed upon the youth I've taught for years: "Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." 1 Tim. 4:12

As we took our last walk around her campus before I left, she said to me, "Mom, I've learned my home is with you and Dad, no matter where it is. Alabama is my home now."

I pray my faith and spiritual growth will one day impress the Father that He can say, "Hey, Jesus, have you seen Jill? She's growing up! Look what she did to help my children. Look what she did to tell others about you. I'm so proud of her." And I say with all praise and glory to the Father, my home is with Abba, God Almighty, everywhere He is.