Gift of Grace

As the preacher spoke today at the funeral, I noticed the woman diagonally in front of me start to shake. I could tell she was sobbing, and she brought a tissue up to her eyes frequently to catch her falling tears. She wasn't related to the man who's funeral we attended. She was a waitress who frequently served him at Cracker Barrel.

I guessed this was who she was prior to introducing myself after the funeral service because she started crying when the pastor spoke about her specifically. See, today I attended the funeral of the care receiver my husband has visited through Stephen Ministry for more than a year. Ken passed away unexpectedly Tuesday from a heart attack. As Stephen Ministry is a confidential, precious, caring ministry, I knew next to nothing about Ken until these last few days. I learned Ken had multiple physical issues in addition to dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Everytime Ken had a doctor's appointment, he later went to Cracker Barrel for his meal. Because of his OCD, it would take sometimes up to 3 hours for him to finish a meal. The pastor mentioned that Ken had a photographic memory, remembering detailed facts and dates. Ken even knew the Cracker Barrel waitresses' birthdates and their children's birthdates because he took the time to ask. My husband told me Ken particularly talked about one waitress named Patty. When noticing this woman sobbing in front of me, I deduced this must be Patty.

After the service I noticed her walking by herself, still weeping, heading to the mausoleum. I walked over to introduce myself and tell her how my husband had told me how much she'd meant to Ken. "You were truly a gift of grace from God for him," I told her. "Oh, no, he was a gift for me," she responded. Patty told me how Ken ate more than any man she'd ever seen before. She told me how she'd wait to put in his order for 28 minutes, because he always went to the bathroom after he ordered and it would take that long before he came back to his table. "I timed it perfectly so his food would come to the table when he returned." She told me how none of the other waitresses wanted to serve him because it was about table turnover and making more money. "But for me, it was never about the money. He was the kindest, most caring man. I'm going to miss him," she said before bringing that tissue back up to her eyes.

The pastor at the service mentioned that we move at mach speeds in today's society, but that maybe we all need to learn something from Ken. In his weakness, he exhibited the love of Christ, taking the time to get to know a waitress at Cracker Barrel, touching this woman's life in a powerful way.

By the way, Ken's birthday was Nov. 16, 1931. I remember this because the pastor made us repeat it several times, calling it "a historic day" ... because Ken was born.

Ken has entered into Paradise completely healed and undoubtedly rewarded by our Father for his caring spirit. I wonder if Ken had any idea when he took the time to speak to Patty, he'd be teaching those who would attend his funeral what the love of Christ looks like?

I'll be eating at Cracker Barrel soon, to visit Patty. Rest in peace, Ken. Rejoice abundantly as you dance in Heaven and know that your compassion in the midst of struggles will spread through the Kingdom, as we follow your example. I look forward to meeting you.

A Second Deeper Look

I know God has wanted me to write this for a week now, but it's embarassment that has kept me from it. Plus a little time to collect my thoughts. As soon as it happened, it was as if I could hear the Father say, "You need to write about this." See, a week ago today, my husband and I got to tour the birthplace and home of our nation's second president and signer of the Declaration of Independence, John Adams. I have been a fan of John Adams since reading quotes of his in a book titled "America's God and Country" by William J. Federer. Here was a man who loved his country, wife, family and God, and I was impressed. After reading more about him and watching the HBO special on him, I was excited about seeing places where he lived. The Adams' descendents saved everything, so they had many artifacts in those homes from the mold for musket balls that Abigail used when melting her pewterware into ammunition for the American militia to the chair where John Adams had his stroke while watching the 4th of July 50th anniversary parade before he died later that day. I loved this tour and learned so much.

But when we first got to the birthplace, getting off the trolley with about 25 other folks, I immediately noticed a very loud woman with her family. She annoyingly kept announcing everything. "Whoa, low doorway!" "Three steps down." "Narrow hall." When our group was split into two smaller groups, I volunteered Brad and I to go in the other group hoping she and her family would stay in the second. Instead, she and her husband and two children were assigned to ours. I could feel my shoulders droop knowing we'd hear everything announced on our way.

After going in our second room of John Adams' birthplace and listening to our tour guide speaking, I noticed the woman had something in her hand. I recognized it immediately and then put two-and-two together. That's where the shame came in. She was holding something for her husband as they made their way through the narrow doorway, his hand on her shoulder. She held a long, thin white cane with a red tip. This lady's husband was blind. She was describing everything to her husband and giving him advanced notice of when to step up or down or duck. I felt so badly about my initial thoughts. Here I was looking around in wonder at marvelous history, and he couldn't see a thing ... unless his wife told him about it. And she truly did an amazing job. Her comments throughout the rest of our tour were no longer annoying, but rather precious and uplifting. I was awed by her.

How quick I was to judge this loud woman, not realizing the selflessness she showed her husband. And all it took was a second, deeper look at the situation.

I would love to say that from now on I will take second deeper looks at everything before making a judgment about anything, but I know better, and know I'm sure to make this error again. I'm just hoping I'll be convicted about it beforehand.

My husband told me years ago when meeting someone to imagine life in their shoes. Sadly, for that moment, I'd forgotten his wisdom.

I am thankful for a patient God who forgives and teaches me in this manner. And grateful for the eyes and words of one to the benefit of another ... and its lesson at my expense to bring glory to the Father.

Yard Work

The grass is dead in my yard. Every last blade of it. Our summer last year was a hot, dry one, and I didn't water the yard. I didn't want to waste the money or time, frankly. I also didn't pull weeds or spray any weed killer for pretty much the same reason. Thus, what we have growing now are weeds alone, lots and lots of them of various kinds (including the beautiful Autauga Crimson Clover developed in this area). When I realized all the grass was dead this spring, my initial thought was, "Who cares? Grass isn't indigenous to this area, so if the weeds grow better, so what. I still have to mow it and certainly don't need to water."

However, there's a couple things I've learned about weeds: the varieties grow at different speeds so that two or three may stand a foot above the others, which looks ridiculous; and they are certainly not as fun to run around barefoot in as many are protected by stickers, jaggers and thorns of different kinds. So I'm second guessing my decision to let the weeds take over.

God has laid it on my heart to not dismiss the parallel to our society of late. How much easier it is to keep quiet and let the advancement of poor morals and bad choices take over in a world where less and less people are willing to take the extra effort to put a stop to it. After all, it's not my problem, not affecting me and I'll just get lamblasted to speaking contrary to growing public opinion.

We are saturated daily with cultural choices that are in direct opposition to what our Bible tells us is demanded of us by God. While we have free will, our God doesn't offer options in His commands. They are direct and non-negotiable. It takes more work and courage to be obedient to the Father and stand up for what is right and of God. And it's certainly not always popular. But my fear is if we don't, we're going to have a world full of "weeds" choking out the Word in us. What scares me even more is people are starting to forget what God says is righteous. They find ways to twist or dismiss His Word. Some are unaware of what it actually says, listening to the counsel of those who do the twisting.

God's children, pick up your Bible, read it and obey. The verse God chose for me as a banner this year is 2 Cor. 10:5 "Take every thought captive to obey Christ." Every thought. I love Jesus Christ with my whole heart, but let me tell you, taking every thought captive in obedience for me is tough stuff. My Father's heart breaks every time I choose to do in opposition to His Word, and I'm crushed when I disappoint Him.

But I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep trying. I'm going to quench my thirst for righteousness with Living Water and pull out those "weeds" trying to infiltrate and destroy what is of God in me. I pray my efforts never cease.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do in my yard.

Deal or No Deal

I've discovered I love the book of Deuteronomy. It's Moses' swan song. Like a parent writing a letter to their graduating senior, Moses is writing his last bits of advice to the nation of Israel before they enter the promised land and his earthly life comes to an end. He reminds the Hebrews of their adventures, travels and the laws God has given them. And he reminds them that they are God's treasured possession. Then he gives them the best deal they could ask for.

He says: "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on the earth." Deut. 28:1 He tells them they will be so blessed that they will have tons of children, plentiful crops and vineyards, herds of livestock, tons of food, be disease-free and lead pretty charmed lives of success in whatever they do. No one will defeat them as a nation and they will be indebted to no one: a pretty sweet deal.

But, he says, if they don't obey, look out, the curses will flow. And everything listed above will be in reverse. So, it's a no-brainer really. Obey, good. Disobey, bad.

After all this, God then speaks to Moses - and you can almost hear Him sigh when He says: "They will forsake me and break the covenant I made with them." Deut. 31:16. God knows, despite the fact that He has given them the best deal ever, they are going to turn away from Him after they are settled in the land. They do, and things get pretty ugly.

You know, God has given us a pretty good deal too. He says anyone who believes Jesus is the Christ will live forever with Him. He doesn't say you have to obey - though we should - or that there will be consequences for our choices - which, of course, there will. He just says believe in Christ. When I think of the many who will not take that deal, I sigh along with our Father. Because the results of taking the wrong end of that deal are pretty awful and, well, damning.

Yeah, I love Deuteronomy. It's a nice reminder of how much God has loved, nurtured, disciplined and forgiven His children inspite of their failures ... to the eventual point of sending Jesus (Deut. 18:15). When God asks, "Deal or no deal?" how will you respond?

Wandering Ox

The other day while driving home from church though this beautiful neighborhood with winding streets that force you to travel slowly, I thought I saw an elderly women about to topple over. She looked like she was losing her footing, so I was about to immediately pull over to the side and get out to make sure she was alright. When I got a closer look, I noticed she wasn't falling. She was crushing an aluminum can underfoot. Once it was crushed, she picked it up and put it in a plastic bag she was carrying. This woman was walking along those streets picking up trash.

It reminded me of a Bible verse that just makes me chuckle when I read it. It's Exodus 23:4. The Lord through Moses is giving the Israelites the rules to live by when He shares this one: "If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to return it." I giggle because this just isn't practical for me in this day and age, as neither my friends nor enemies have oxen or donkey to let wander off. However, anytime I see a person's trash can rolling in the street or some yard decoration blowing down the road, I stop what I'm doing to return it, remembering this verse, mumbling to myself, "Gotta save the ox." So when I saw the women picking up trash I thought, "There she is collecting the oxen." Granted, I doubt she was going to return it to its littering owner.

As I walked today, I saw aluminum cans, plastic bottles and - my biggest pet peeve - cigarette butts strewn along the curbside. I didn't have a plastic bag with me to collect these items, but I did grab stuff as I walked to put with my garbage at home. I didn't do it to make the world a prettier place or to recycle. I did it because God would want me to.

One thing I did not pick was the cigarette butts. I would like, however, to one day return one of those to their rightful owner. So if you are waiting at an intersection in front of me and toss your butt out the window, don't be surprised if I get out of my car, pick it up and knock on your window to return it. Just giving you back your ox.

Skill to All The Skillful

Yesterday while my son and I were talking music, I shared with him about the talents of the musicians in our church's praise band. I sing with the band, and I was telling my son how each is so amazing at their gift for music and adds their own touch to make a song we put together for Jesus uniquely what it is. And I'm blown away each time. I am in awe of what they can do, more so because I do not have the talent to play much beyond a kazoo, tamborine or "Chopsticks" on the piano (and "Eleanor Rigby" on the guitar - but that's a story for another time.) During practice, the Holy Spirit through these musicians weaves the praise songs into a worship service. And they have no sheet music. That's how good they are. They listen to the songs a few times, maybe have a chord list and pull it together every time. When commenting to them once about their musical gifts, one responded, "If God hadn't given me this gift, I truly don't know what I would be doing with my life."

Recently I was reading in Exodus where God is giving specific details to Moses how to create the Tabernacle ... and I mean specific. God wanted the colors, materials, dimensions, patterns and religious elements to be just so. If I was Moses, I would be thinking, "How am I going to accomplish this?" But before Moses can even ask this, God says in Ex. 31:1-6, "See, I have called by name Bezalel ... and I have filled him with divine spirit, with ability, intelligence and knowledge in every kind of craft to devise artistic designs to work in gold, silver and bronze, in cutting stones for setting and in carving wood in every kind of craft. Moreover I have appointed with him Oholiab ... and I have given skill to all the skillful so that they may make all that I have commanded you." I'm sure Moses gave a big sigh of relief after that. How cool that God gifted these two men before they were even born with the skills God wanted them to utilize for this very moment.

Everyone I know has some unique, divinely-given gift. My brother is one of the most talented artists I've ever seen (and drew the soldier in the Armor of God above). Andrea and Kathy exhaust me with their energy and creative solutions. My mother and Deb are amazing pray-ers. Cindy befriends everyone in Christ's name. Carol, Barb and my sister Jodi compassionately put everyone else before themselves. Connie and Taffy are precious edifiers. My Dad and Ron can fix anything to help God's children. Jan is the great organizer. Brad's sports experiences have drawn many a man to Christ. And the list goes on...

We learn through this Exodus passage that God gifts us for His glory in some way to grow the Kingdom. Can't you almost see Him gently putting you together just as you are and nudging you on to fulfill your purpose? God is so cool.

For me - well, like the words used in Ex. 36:2, my "heart is stirred" to write. May it ever and always glorify Him.

Getting the Job Done

When I was learning to drive, I remember my father giving me this piece of advice: "You drive the car. Do not let the car drive you." He saw that I was afraid of this huge piece of machinary and wanted me to be clear that the car would do what I told it to. He wanted me to get a feel of the steering wheel and the touch of the brake. He wanted me to control the car instead of letting the car control me. It was great advice. I thought of another piece of advice he gave me as I was sawing several downed branches in my back woods yesterday and today. Once when my Dad saw me wearing myself out while forcefully sawing something he said, "Honey, let the saw do the job. You just move your arm back and forth." I relaxed and found that even with less physical effort the logs were cut quite easily.

The other day I felt as if I'd failed in an attempt to share the Gospel with two Mormon missionaries. I cried after our two encounters, feeling I'd failed these young men by not having the right words, even though I had prayed for the Holy Spirit to do the talking. This frustration was just another on top of the recent failure I was feeling towards the many folks I've been praying for recently who do not know Jesus. Knowing the eternal fate of these folks has weighed heavy on my heart. I was hoping I could see a success story.

Then a good friend from high school told me about a teacher she had who used to be Mormon. She said he commented that it took more than one person to cause him to question his beliefs. And I remembered the story of evangelist William Fay who said of his pre-Christian days that he remembered the face of every person who shared Jesus Christ with him. In other words, I may just be one of many the Lord will use to help these young men see the truth of Scripture. It was something I already knew, but was glad to be reminded of once again.

Then another friend reminded me that it's God that does the calling. We just do our part in showing and sharing the love of Christ, via our actions and testimony, and then step back and let God do the job.

The car and saw are both instruments we use to get a job done. One to drive and one to cut through things. We too are instruments used by God to get the job done. And each of us are individually gifted to do different parts of those jobs. I do not need to worry about the success of reaching these children of God. That is God's domain. I'm just supposed to do my part. I think Satan was working on me a bit, perhaps hoping I'd give up since I wasn't seeing results. Instead, I'm going to rejoice in the fact that God gave me two opportunities to speak to the fellows in my neighborhood. And I'm rejoicing that I can pray for my long list of folks who need Jesus.

God's got this. I'm gonna let Him drive and push the saw. And I'll gladly do what He wants whether or not I see the results ... and continue to give Him the glory!