A Chance to Die

I remember crying the first time I heard this quote. It was in the 2006 movie "The Last Holiday" starring Queen Latifah. She played a woman who learns she's got just weeks to live. She says while looking in the mirror at herself: "Next time, we will laugh more, we'll love more, we just won't be so afraid."

For the last year or so, I've been afraid. Paralyzed with fear, actually. I went through a period in my life of doing something the Lord asked me to and got spiritually pummeled for it. I was beaten down so badly, that I withdrew from a lot I'd invested in, because it was safer not to try. You don't get hurt when you don't step out, was my rational.

Today I read two devotions that brought me to tears again. One was from the Upper Room for April 29, 2010 by Ebenezer R. Vedamuthu. It spoke about obeying God to "move into deeper waters" like Peter did in Luke 5:4. It asked: "How will we respond when God calls us to go deeper? Will we stay where we feel comfortable and safe, in shallow waters ... or are we ready to put our hand trustingly in God's and venture into greater spiritual depths? The reward will be worth it - a richer, more intimate walk with God and a more abundant life."

The second came from Our Daily Bread. In the April 28 devotion by Anne Cetas she tells the story of Amy Carmichael, a missionary in India for 55 years. When asked about her life, Amy responded: "Missionary life is simply a chance to die." It was then I started weeping.

I have commented often that I cannot wait to get to Paradise to be with the Father. Truly, I can completely relate when Paul says in Phil. 1:21, "For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." The problem was, I was forgetting to live.

While walking today, God is His perfectness, had a song come up on my ipod I've heard countless times. It's called "The Untitled Hymn" or "Come to Jesus." The song tells of a true spiritual journey ... sin, burdens, fear, loneliness, pain, storms, love, joy and eternal life with Christ. What I don't think I noticed before was that every single stanza ends with the same word ... live. "Fall on Jesus and live!" "Come to Jesus and live." "Cry to Jesus and live." "Dance for Jesus and live. "Sing to Jesus and live." "Fly to Jesus and live." In many ways, I'd forgotten about the living part.

A missionary's life is simply a chance to die. Every one of us is a missionary, whether in some other country in the world speaking to the children of God, or in our homes, workplaces, churches and communities. Everywhere we are is our mission field. If we are paralyzed with fear to step out into paths the Father leads us, we are missing out on prime missionary opportunities. And, yes, we're gonna fall and fail. But isn't that what living for Christ is about! It's a chance to die! Die to self for Jesus for His Kingdom, for His children. The Our Daily Bread devotion brought up Matt. 16:25 "Whoever desires to save his life with lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

It's time to start living again.

[image: Untitled Hymn/Come to Jesus by Chris Rice]